Monday, September 17, 2012

On Being Prepared

******


For the Zombie Apocalypse.....

We had been a bit concerned, not being sure what just to stock in our team arsenal. However, as always, that ever-reliable source of all useful information and irrefutable facts and figgers, Facebook, came to the rescue last week.

To find your personal weapon for the great invasion, simply go to your local Craigslist. Check out the free stuff section.

Item number five is your weapon

So we did that little thing.

Since I am a bit nervous about putting my trust in five vinyl shutters, we have been checking back early and often. Added to the shutters, we now have a kerosene heater, five free kittens, and some boxes.

This seems to be a likely assortment, with any number of possible combinations. However, I am left asking, 'What color kittens?' 'How wide are the shutters?' 'Does the heater come with kerosene?'.......I am such a worrywart. 

I guess we will keep checking out the free list and I am sure we will soon be well-armed.

*****As you can see above, Alan is a real apocalypse-readiness type thinker. He is getting the &^%%$* paper off the beef so I can cook it for dinner without thawing it first. (for some reason they have taken to using those little boxed slices of paper to weigh the meat out and then sending them home frozen right into it...cozy.....)
However, rest assured I am going to have a word with those butchers the next time we take a beef to them. If I wanted paper frozen into my beef I would have had the zombies cut it.

What's your zombie apocalypse weapon today?

15 comments:

Rev. Paul said...

A 32" color TV - the old kind. Not sure how much good it would do against zombies ... wait! Drop it on them from the roof. That. Might. WORK.

Breezey375 said...

I must say I kinda resent the abuse my hairdryer takes. :P
Also now we have fish.... O.o we has cat chow now!!!!

Dani said...

This just puts a smile on my face! Thanks Girlfriend.

Paintsmh said...

I got a heavy tv with a wood stand...

joated said...

I got a kitchen table.
(But I was sooooo tempted to stock up on what was available at slot #2: seasoned manure.)

Breezey375 said...

How about and upright piano?

ellie k said...

I usually put my meat under warm water and the paper comes right off, then dry it with paper towels or a clean dish rag. Cook it up for a yummy meal.

Terry and Linda said...

I've done that to my meat at different points...sucks.


Linda
http://coloradofarmlife.wordpress.com
http://deltacountyhistoricalsociety.wordpress.com

lisa said...

I usually will put my meat in a baggie and then put it into a tub of hot water for just a few minutes and that is all it usually takes to get the paper off!

Jan said...

I'm counting on their not being enough brains for the zombies to survive on. I think they will simply starve when they reach small numbers.

marcus trens said...

Ill will just have to set aside my fire extinguisher because I believe its already enough to break their brains out

threecollie said...

Rev. Paul, I think that might help....or maybe turn it to certain channels and fry their brains...oh, wait..

Breezey, hmm...fish...cats..shutters...why are there no cannons on Craigslist?

Dani, I love this stuff I really do. The boss doesn't get it. lol thinks we are nuts.


Paints, we could build a fence out of TVs!

Joated, a table is good. I was so tempted to cheat too. There were bibles just below the darned kittens

Breezey, I could see where we could maybe use that although an uzi might be better.

ellie, that is pretty much what I usually do, but I hate to put beef in water. Feels as if it takes the flavor out of the meat.


Linda, I can deal with the heavy paper the meat is wrapped in...pretty easy to free that up. It's the darned tissue thin sheets of stuff they use to weigh out the packages. I think he has some kids working for him now and they obviously don't spend time in the kitchen. this is a new problem.

Lisa, works great for the outer paper, but these turkeys put that thin stuff they handle it with right in the center. Takes hours to thaw it off by normal methods.

Jan that is a real possibility. If they start in DC they will be gone before they hit Maryland.

marcus, good choice of weapons! Wish we had gotten one!





Keith Wilson said...

Okay, can we talk...
Seriously, you're cooking your roast with a hair dryer.
Hmmm... might be better ways.
But if you must, just a suggestion: Keep it on HIGH.
I don't know if that puts curls in the roast or causes it to straighten. Maybe it'll 'puff-out' and feed 10 times as many people.
If that was your intent, then great idea.
We'll bring curling irons for dessert

Cathy said...

" . .Since I am a bit nervous about putting my trust in five vinyl shutters . . "

It's how you use them. You dig that deep moat around your property, you place the shutters as though they're foot-bridges . . .

When the zombies step on e'm to cross . .

Problem solved. As for that paper-in-the-meat business . . well, the fella above me seems to think you leave the paper in for a new experience in dining. Not so sure he's much of a cook . .

. . just say'n . . . . .

threecollie said...

Keith, have I mentioned that I like the way you think? lol Too late for dinner though...that baby is history.

Cathy, you folks sure have great minds. Why didn't I think of that? Does the fella above cook btw? Might be interesting. lol