No Questions Asked

Insert stern expression and beady-eyed glare here

If whoever took my blue hay fork puts it back by the porch.

Then I can clean up the garden. 




***This has been a public service announcement by the Bureau of Tool Management, Mean Old Lady Department.

***Thank you for your attention to this detail.

Still more beady-eyed glare if needed....

You Hear it First

(Taken last week before the rainslaught)

The rain that is. Of course you know that it is going to come. Even the weather gurus are getting it right this time, rain, rain and more rain.

But when you are outside trying to get something...anything...done.... the first sign of its arrival is a soft patter, like the rustling of dad's newspaper back in the day.....just before he got up from his chair to give you what for.

And then it sweeps across the land, giving you what for again. What for you tryin' to work out here? This is my land, I have taken it and I am keeping it.

And it has and it is. It has taken over all our ground and turned it into fresh churned mud, and it hangs on and clings and drips and droops and bothers all day every day. No let up from the gloom, not a single ray of sunshine.

It is ever needful to keep a fire going to dry the clothes we wear out in it, hanging over every register, dripping and drooping.

In fact that is what I was doing when the latest rain laid claim...building a fire so things would dry...while my latest set of dry things got wet...again...at least polar fleece sheds rain real well for a while at least.

Can you imagine? Polar fleece in May?

Substance Abuse

We got it. Nick went out this morning and rolled in something.

On a farm there is no lack of something, by the way.

My nose is curling up like a leaf in winter. Talk about nasty. I wasn't going to make him spend any time out in his kennel run this summer. He is getting old and has discovered being a good boy in the house...pretty much. However......

And look what is on the heifer barn roof! I think they smell him too.

(Actually there is a dead deer down on the road somewhere.....)

Orange Upstart

As far as the cardinal is concerned this is HIS feeder. He is picking up sunflower seeds and shelling them, before tenderly feeding them to his lady love. What's up with this orange guy hanging around slurping up oranges with his girl friend? ******Photo taken through kitchen window so not too clear...and I can't stand very close to the window or they all fly away in a huff.****

Much excitement in the barn last night. Bama Breeze (still with us, FC, and a big, sweet, pet) had a gorgeous half-shorthorn heifer calf and brought it right down to the barn. The new baby is the color of rich, dark, mahogany with lots of bright, white bling to flash on feet and flanks. Right about now I am kinda wishing I hadn't given Bama to Alan.

Of course pseudo-mom and hard-working calf thief, Zinnia, decided that it was hers and raised holy Hell. Wouldn't come in the barn, charged the boss when he brought the baby in. Thrashed around like a fool in a frenzy running around and making us crazy, while Bama calmly followed her baby into the barn and behaved herself.

Then big Z began to bellow.

And bellow.

And bellow.

She stands in my string and is one of the first two cows I milk, so I got the full force of it...and you can hear a cow calling for miles. You can hear one real well for feet too....and I have to actually lean on her flank to put the milker on, so there weren't even feet between us. Ow, my poor ears! She cocked a leg at me menacingly when I went in to milk her.

And bellowed some more. Normally she really likes me (can't stand the boss) and is gentle as a great big dog. Last night it was hard to even get her attention so she wouldn't kick me. She really wanted that stolen calf.

She bawled all through milking. We tried playing Sherry, but even that didn't help...although when Liz sends me the cell phone video of the boss dancing to it in the barn aisle you are in for something...I am not sure exactly what...but something for sure.

By the time milking was over my head felt as if it was going to explode and it seemed as if we had milked a thousand cows.

Twice.

If the federal government needs a good substitute for water boarding, all they have to do is come to the farm with a sound recorder and show Zinnia a calf. Add in Chrome, Liz's calf, who screams to be fed whenever she isn't eating (and she can eat as much as three full-grown cows I swear) and alleged terrorists would be falling all over themselves to confess..