Last night I played a message on the answering machine, not surprisingly from a politician, inviting me to a town hall.
I attempted to delete it and instead deleted my last message from my mother, asking us to pick up something for Dad at the pharmacy.
I was shattered to lose it.
I knew I had made this recording when our old answering machine died, so I knew I still had her voice...somewhere.
Trouble was I had looked and looked for it before, but didn't find it. See I was looking in the files on this computer. Never thought of YouTube until Becky reminded me that I had probably put it there....this morning I checked....and there it was.
I am still sad to have lost the much better quality one that was on the machine, but this short clip of family members leaving me birthday recordings, and several short messages from Mom make me feel a lot better.....
Do you ever stop missing them?
I also slept a lot better after receiving a 3:43 AM text telling me that my boy had reached his destination safely. Never, ever be afraid to text your mama. She wants to know...I was actually awake and thinking that it was about time for him to be there...so....
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| Random fisherman on the great Schoharie...just thought it looked cool |
Oh Honey . . somewhere I have those voices stashed away. I so understand your response. My parents pictures are on mantles and walls all around us. Miss them? I know you know . . words fail. True that the years lighten the pain a bit . . but still. And this:"I was actually awake and thinking that it was about time for him to be there." There is NO question about it. Minds & Hearts connect over miles . . over continents. Our family members have experienced moments of "knowing" that are simply beyond explanation.
ReplyDeleteSO sorry! There is something special about actually hearing your moms voice, and not just in our heads. I am glad you still have some recordings of her voice.
ReplyDeleteCathy, it is good to know that others experience this as well. Tanks for your kind and supportive words, which mean a lot to me.
ReplyDeleteaurora, thank you! I miss knowing that that is on the answering machine. I wish I had recorded it like I did the other. Foolish not to, as I know the machines are tricky when it comes to which recording is being deleted.
Oh, what a loss! And the realization that you yourself caused it, however inadvertently, must have amplified your distress. I'm sorry for this added sadness for you.
ReplyDeleteJacqueline, it was pretty bad. I never realized just how close I was to my parents until they were gone. From birth to 68 years old...a very long time to talk nearly every day and visit very, very often. Thank you for your kind words.
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