Friday, July 08, 2011

I Guess

If I didn't have a heart attack yesterday I am probably not going to have one right away.

I got sick of the bull not having any water. The water tub the boss gave him was too small and I was always filling it. And he is a snorty, snotty little bugger and I don't like going around him, but I had to get right up close to fill his tub every day.. I decided to take action, by myself, as no one was home but me. Mistake. Big mistake.

I put a big water tub in with him and filled it. The whole time I was running the hose the little creep was threatening me. As soon as it was full he drank what he wanted and then started working it over with his head...thank God he doesn't have horns.

An hour later I went out to check him and he had broken out the top board of his pen (which had previously been cracked) and was only held in by boards up to his brisket. All he had to do to get out was step over...he wouldn't have even had to lift his feet very high.

I called the boss, who was taking some paper work to his aunt, and stood on the porch with a stick, hoping to not see him rambling down the driveway before help arrived.

He stayed in at least and the guys moved him over to the cow barn on a halter. It was pretty much of a rodeo. He is just a little bull, but he is not nice, no sirree.

We were going to put him in a pen with some heifers, but decided instead to put him in a stanchion and put a ring in his nose....which was done. We were kind of concerned about what he might do if he jumped out or tore up another pen.

He greeted me when I went in to milk last night with threatening bellows and snorting. I was really, really, really glad that he was locked up by his head, the stanchion was tied shut and he was sporting a little chain just in case.

Then just as I was putting the machine on Bayliner, Liz let out a yell and I saw (and heard) a wall of brown, thundering down the manger.

That is when, if I was going to have that heart attack, it would have happened.

I screamed for the boss, who milks in the back of the barn and hollered at the girls to get out of the way. And looked for a pitchfork.

Then Liz called over, "Mom, it's not the bull, it's just Shamrock."

Shamrock is about the same size as the bull and she was having a field day racing up and down the barn, but she is just a Jersey heifer. It took a while, because she was having fun, but Liz caught her and put her out in a pen with her half sister, Shameless, who was put there to make room for the bull.

Time for a sigh of relief, right?

Heck no! In all the excitement, my cow Asaki (read that out loud....Rebecca named her in a name the calf contest a while back) blew out of her stanchion and little Cinnamon jumped through a stall and in with her great big yearling older sister, Rio.

Fun, fun, fun. Asaki ran up the back manger. Cinnamon was terrified, although thankfully Rio was a real lady about the whole affair and just licked her little sister. It took a while before everybody was caught and put back where they belong.

I am too old for this. I was ALWAYS too old for this. Where do I get my (one way) ticket to some place with a beach, something cold with a little umbrella, and maybe some interesting shells and fish and birds? I think I am ready. No, scratch that. I KNOW I am ready.


joated said...

Jeez! The fun never ends at Northview, does it?

Hope things are (abnormally) quieter for the next couple of days.

When were you planning that trip to the lake? Soon, I hope.

nyvolfan said...

We leave tomorrow morning if you're interested in joining us...LOL

Floridacracker said...

Is it lake time yet?

Woodswalker said...

My, but you lead a life full of excitement! I'm just curious, but would that bull be a happier fellow if he lived with a harem around him, or would that just make him thump his chest all the harder and be surlier than ever? I do remember that when I was a kid growing up in farmland, we were always severely warned about bulls and were more afraid of them than any other animal.

Cathy said...

It's truly amazing to be introduced to the realities of life on a family farm.

I suppose a pitchfork would suffice in all sorts of settings. And I imagine if I ever felt the need to grab one . . .

that a heart attack would be my next response.

Good grief.

Beach time, for sure.

Linda said...

Bulls are NOT my favorite critter to deal with either. I think I'd get rid of that beast of yours or tie him up until he learned some manners. Stay safe!

Sandcastle Momma said...

Goodness what a day! It does sound like you need a break. Come on down and I'll buy the first round of umbrella drinks :)

Jan said...

A stress free life is grossly over rated.

Dani said...

My heart was getting tight just reading this girlfriend!!!!!

I have beaches, shells, and all kinds of shorebirds. You are welcome anytime. :)Just be prepared though to give lots of love and belly scritches to the poodles.

Paul said...

A pitchfork! Were you going to aerate him a little? Glad it wasn't the bull. You saw what happened to our last unruly one... bull burgers! The pitchfork thing just caught me as amusing. A little note, if you do take care of that bull, a pitchfork is perfect for roasting 4 or 5 beef hot dogs at a time. You may wanna clean it first.

Jinglebob said...

Bovines are soooo much fun, huh? ;-)

threecollie said...

Joated, never a dull day. I could stand a little boring now and then though.

NYV, oh, man, wouldn't that be fun! Sure is gorgeous up there!

FC, one more week!

WW, alas, once a bull gets nasty he is nasty girls or no girls. If anything, they are more protective of cows and calves and thus worse. This guy may have sealed his fate and end up like the bull Paul refers to below. It isn't worth getting somebody killed and even a small bull can do it
Cathy, not necessarily the weapon of choice...sometimes a shotgun seems better, but I knew there was one right there on the corner. I can't tell you how glad I was that the loose brown critter was the heifer

Linda, thanks, my thoughts are running exactly that way. Of course I don't get to choose...

SCMomma, wouldn't that be the coolest thing ever! Thanks lol

Dani, ah...that would be so sweet, poodles and all. I like poodles...and beaches...thanks for the thought.

Paul, I figured in the close confines of the barn, anything to hold him off with. I can't tell you how glad I was that it WASN'T him! He may very well meet a similar fate to your bull, although since we have a freezer full of fresh heifer beef, we may send him to the sale. He is way too young to be so nasty...sure isn't likely to get any better.

JB, I thought of you the whole time the affair was going on. You or Linda would have just tossed a rope on him and hauled him where you wanted him...sure beat moving him with just a halter.

Ranch Girl Diaries said...

Cute post, you are such a good writer! :-) Bulls terrify, horns or not. Even goats terrify me if they have horns!

threecollie said...

RGD, same here! Some day I will tell you the boss's favorite story about the not-so-smart hired guy who kept twisting the horns on his pet buck goat when he was younger. Let's just say the goat won and the hired guy didn't sit right for a while.

LeeAnn said...

It freaks me out when the cat suddenly appears when I hadn't noticed her before.
I can't imagine animals the size of a loveseat popping up and startling me.
You're a brave one, you are.

Terry and Linda said...

I'm so glad you are okay! There is NOTHING like a snorting, pawing, snot-blowing bull! Nothing! Whenever we get one..he goes to the sale. And we do. It seems like it's spilt in 1.2 either or, no in-between. I refuse to have a mean bull here, I don't care how nice his calves are.

SISH! Their heads are as big as the barn door.

I'm so very glad you are safe! VERY