My cannon

A Coyote at the Dog Show has a fine new post called Dangerous Toys for Dangerous Boys, wherein he describes a number of fun, but not so healthy playthings like pow'r tools 'n personal jet packs. I highly recommend it.

Also on the list of potentially deadly toys is a cannon. Swen explains in clear and riveting detail just how to charge and fire said cannon, which was of great personal interest to me. See, there are two things I really want for Christmas...lust after in fact. First on my list is a functional military tank, with which to deter poachers and tres-peserters. Think of the reaction of Joe Redneck, out of season deer hunter, when one of them babies bursts out of the hedgerow, tracks clanking and turret twisting, like a hound dog on a hot scent! I smile just to think of it.

A cannon to set in front of the house, with the business end pointed down the driveway is the second one. I would much prefer one that actually works, but I won't complain if it just LOOKS scary.


In fact here is one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite movies,

Earl: What kind of fuse is that?
Burt: Cannon fuse.
Earl: What the hell do you use it for?
Burt: My cannon.


Every one in the family can mimic that deadpan, "What else would it be?" tone used by Burt Gummer to perfection. In fact, the barn blackboard is often decorated with neat chalk drawings of cannons of all sorts, with my personal favorite being the Civil War cannon.