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Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Where have all the small forks gone?

(Old dogs took them, everyone.)

Yeah, the mystery is solved.

See there are a couple (or three) of us here at Northview who like to eat with salad forks. (I don't know just why, but I can promise you that it doesn't have anything to do with small mouths.)

Anyhow, over the past year or so, our small forks have dwindled in number until we were down to four. That meant that there was no skimping on dishwashing between meals. The drawer was always bare.

Then one day there were only three.

I KNEW there were four at dinnertime.

However, when I put away the silverware after I washed dishes one was gone.
I made a serious search. I even dug around in the outdoor woodstove in case some one had burned one up with a paper plate or something.

No fork.

I eventually gave up and we were months with only three small forks.

It was annoying. You almost always had to wash a fork before you could eat dinner.
Then the other day Liz went to take dogs out. Gael sat stubbornly in her crate, not wanting to brave the elements (can't blame her there.) Said crate is tucked in next to the chimney in a darkish corner of the pantry. There are sundry rarely used objects such as divorcee barn boots and single-parent gloves piled around it.

When Liz went in to haul the old lady out for a walk, there was something glinting under her fat, furry fanny.

Yep.

The other salad fork.
There is no way it was dropped there. Nowhere near the sink or table.
There is no way it walked there. No legs.
No pack rats. Too far east.
I don't think we have Borrowers.

Therefore the only logical conclusion is that Gael is practicing for the advent of opposable thumbs in Border collies. She has been using it to eat the dog biscuits that she hides in there every time I hand them out.

Now I am going to have to drag the darned crate out of its cluttery corner and see if the rest of the missing silverware is behind it.

I'll do it right after I have a discussion with Nick about why I found my 1970's era yellow lace prom gown in HIS crate yesterday….

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well, I've heard of washers and dryers that steal socks, but this is a new one. I'll be waiting to hear what's behind that crate.

Caroline said...

Can't wait to hear what you find!

Right now one of my Aussies is into rounding up *all* the dog toys and trying to stash them in his crate, just to keep them away from the puppy. Some of them are toys that I bought just for the puppy, too!

Rurality said...

Let me know if you find my missing small spoons too!

Deanna said...

I knew border collies were smart, but eating with silverware? It's fun living with dogs!

Paintsmh said...

My poor doggie. She just wanted to see what all the fuss was about with the whole silverware concept. She thought maybe if she got enough she could host a dinner party. Now my mommy is making her out to be the bad guy. Poor Gael.

MinorcanMeteorolgist said...

awwww...sometimes you wish dogs just weren't so dang smart!!

threecollie said...

Hi nw, you may have to wait a while...the pile of miscellany is pretty daunting. lol

Hello caroline and welcome....I have linked to your very interesting blog in the side bar....the worst part of that toy stealing business is that they know very well who owns what toy. Mike was sent a wonderful furry toy by an Internet friend in Boston. It took a couple years, but Nick finally got it and chewed it up.

Hello rurality...I am going to be ecstatic if we find even ONE more fork!

Hey there cubby...never a dull moment! as you and Dakota know well. lol

Paints, darling daughter. You know I love the doggies, but I am fond of kitchen tools as well.

HT, yeah, they are a challenge, especially since they are much smarter than I am....not to mention having lots of free time to plot!

The MacBean Gene said...

Now we know that the beagle sisters are notorious thieves. More than once we have found a purloined workmans glove in the yard. An unwatched article of clothing will disappear in a flash.
I always thought border collies were more trustworthy.

Anonymous said...

I think your evidence is pretty circumstantial. Gael could probably produce a lot of character witnesses.

dmmgmfm said...

How funny! They are herding forks these days I take it.

And while we're on the fork subject, I think I have the rest of yours, or maybe mine are multiplying in the utensil drawer.

threecollie said...

McBG, you would expect them to behave better, wouldn't you!

Jan, She sure can conjure up an innocent, who me? look in a heart beat.

Laurie, maybe that was it. Wonder if she shipped them west?

R.Powers said...

Too funny, but I'm just the opposite. I can't stand a salad fork. The kids know, "Don't give Dad a short fork!"

threecollie said...

You and the boss would be in good company FC. He is not one of the ones fighting over the endangered species little forks.