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Saturday, November 22, 2008

He's Got a Knife!

Liz shouted to the rest of us as she ran through the house after him. (Typical farm woman behavior- running toward trouble rather than away.) He charged right at me. I was sitting peacefully in my Sunday chair, eating a spectacular roast beef dinner that she made the night before, and reading a W.E.B. Griffin book.

He wasn't messing around either; he was carrying that ultra-sharp little Remington knife that mom and dad gave the boss for Christmas a couple of years ago. It is a nice one, with a serious edge and we had been using it to slice the beef. (You know you are a red neck when you slice dinner with a hunting knife.) We had heard someone rattling around in the kitchen, but I for one, thought it was just one of the dogs. I should have been paying more attention. Alan jumped up from where he had been playing on the computer and ran after him too. The rest of us froze in alarm, which is not much help under any circumstances. Good thing we had the young people to save us from this awful threat. However, they are bold and intrepid people and soon prevailed over our armed and dangerous intruder.

Liz actually caught up with him (under my footstool), but disarming him wasn't easy. After he went to all the trouble of stealing a weapon he wasn't parting with it without some discussion.....he picked the wrong person to discuss with, but I came THIS close to being stuck up at knife point. Little stinker.

I wish somebody would find the darned cat toy, which is somewhere among the missing. Then the perp would probably get off his current silverware stealing kick and go back to what passes for normal, thundering through the house a hundred miles an hour with the string from it clutched in his sharp little teeth.



Butter wouldn't melt in his mouth,
but those in the know are aware that that crock is where Alan keeps his ammo for more serious weapons....I wonder what he is plotting here in this shot.

(And FC, check out that nifty paper tube there just behind him. I'll bet you know where that came from. I am husbanding those little pieces of fat wood like the wild gold they are. Many fires have already been started more easily because of them and many more will be.....thanks again and again.
Mega Congratulations on your National Boards Certification too! Great job!! ............If you are a Pure Florida fan, or just want to read one of the best blogs out there, take a second to go visit FC and congratulate him on his success. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.)

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

No fair, 3C - you really had me going. I was ready to call the cops!

As usual, your storytelling skills are incredible. Thanks for this. :)

Throwback at Trapper Creek said...

I guess it's official, butcher knives are the norm here, for anything. And the crocks full of everything but food too! But you have topped it - we don't have a knife wielding cat.

Great story!

R.Powers said...

Blushing uncontrollably now ...

If that tube is getting low, just email me your address again, so's I can recharge it with some Pure Florida fatwood.

Gonna be a cold winter, don't delay!

:)

Cato said...

Huh. He looks innocent enough.

Ah, but WHAT SINISTER SCHEMES LIE LURKING IN THE HEARTS OF PETS!? Only the Shadow knows....

Your content is getting R-rated! I'll have to keep my litle kitten from reading your posts-- you're giving her ideas!!! ;) And she's a rascal enough as it is.

Rebz said...

I am really laughing out loud. Thanks for that great story.
XOXO
Joce

Linda said...

LOL you could always sell him to the circus or at least threaten to:)

Ericka said...

uh. all the peanut does is flood the house and eat furniture. of course, i generally keep the sharp shiny things well contained...

Freste said...

Jeebus Freakin Kites, 3C I was thinking the 3 scary dudes showed up again and wanted to take over your home as in the movie, "The Strangers".

Just so you know, I am going to have to put away the .10 ga and the pocketful of slugs.

threecollie said...

Akagaga, sorry about that and thanks for the link...you are really kind

Nita, I have this knife called the care knife because I used to keep it in the car as a defensive maneuver. The guys found it up in the field and we use it for just about anything including cutting meat. lol Thanks!

FC, that is so kind of you! We actually still have a lot left, because it works so very well. About a thin stick and a half will start just about anything I put in the stove....and you deserve a lot of credit for that certification

Cato, sorry about that....don't let her near the screen if she is one of THOSE cats. lol

Joce, thanks, we were rolling on the floor I swear for half an hour after it happened and every time he struts through the living room somebody says, "he's got a knife". lol

Linda, he is that funny, he really is

Erika, Flood the house!!! I'd love to hear that one! I am thinking it might be time to pay closer attention to sharp implements around here too.

Steve, sorry about that....I do worry about guys like that, but this time it was just Elvis, being his self-satisfied big ol' self.....

Anonymous said...

yeah, mom you can see the long barreled single shot next to the scales

Tipper said...

I knew it had to be something other than a human-very cute post!

DayPhoto said...

Goodness! I thought you were being robbed!

Linda
http://coloradofarmlife.wordpress.com

threecollie said...

tipper, thanks,

Linda, sorry about that and thanks...it was really funny when it happened