Hi, my name is Hezekiah Yoder. (Not only am I a garden gnome, I am an Amish garden gnome.)
And the kids in this family are BRATS, brats I tell you. They bought me for the lady of the house who just happens to hate garden gnomes. (She thinks they are kinda creepy like Mickey Mouse and clowns, not sweetly tacky like pink plastic flamingos.)
Anyhow, even though they showed me to her when I came home last night, and warned her that she was going to be surprised by my grinning countenance when I showed up all unexpected, she brayed like a jackass when she opened the microwave this morning to make coffee.
It was great! The boss came running out of the living room to see what was wrong and she almost fell on the floor laughing.
However, there is a certain irony in all this as the perpetrator of the crime and purchaser of moi was out turkey hunting with his buddy and missed all the hysteria.
I wonder where they are going to hide me next.
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