Never, Ever try this at Home

 

What peppermint fumes feel like

Tis Autumn, the season when us folks in the country wish they were called outsects and lived up to their reputation...rather than being insects and wanting to come indoors en masse. Box Elder Bugs, Brown Marmorated Stink Bugs, Cluster Flies. And I suppose those lantern flies will be next on the agenda, dagnabbit.

In fact night before last I was heading out at dusk to check the stove and bring the doggo in when I felt a sharp stab on the back of my hand. Some kind of fat black-and-yellowish bee must have been hoping to sneak through the crack in the back door to join us in the relative warmth of the interior. My sleeve scooped her up, she felt inconvenienced by same, so she stung me.

I dashed her away, and after some serious trepidation, as so many members of my family are so dangerously allergic to stings, the pain faded, leaving behind a vague itch. Good deal.

However, bugs ain't the only ones what wants ta join us, if you know what I mean. And we accidentally discovered that peppermint oil really does repel rodents. Mice were taking over the folks' house; they had a vial on the kitchen counter, I sprinkled some around, and hey presto! no further evidence of mousy escapades and recent meals.

So we bought some for home. However, it became outdated and smelled a little funky, so we bought some more. Behind a grandchild of Depression Era folks, and having grown up running tame in their homes, it pains me mightily to throw anything out that might be useful some day.

I decided not to waste the peppermint oil. Becky pried off the little plastic thing that prevents an excess from spilling out of the bottle. Then I upended it over a hole near the washing machine that has ofttimes provided ingress to pests and been patched many times...probably for generations of both unwanted mammals and the humans they plague.

Seemed like a good idea, so I dumped the rest down the cellar stairs.....just in case you know.

Seemed okay for a while. Smelled kinda nice and all.

Plus the bonus of not spreading poisons or setting traps seemed like icing on the......

Wait a minute...oh, oh.....

Everyone's eyes began to water and the kitchen became nearly uninhabitable. Liz was baking cookies, but you couldn't ascertain that because of the overwhelming stink of flaming peppermint.

Throats clogged. Eyes and noses ran. We could tell that our collective senses of smell were fine indeed, thank you very much.

I finally got Liz to stuff an old pair of pants over the little hole in the pantry, and you could stand to be indoors, although it felt like a candy cane factory for sure.

I was grateful when it came time to go to bed. When we moved up here and I picked a room, I chose one of the lesser rooms, rather than the opulent master bed room, because it overlooked the heifer barn so I could hear the cows if anything happened in the night.

I was sure glad of that last night, as it is far enough away from the kitchen to be safe from the peppermint skunk in the pantry.

This morning when I stepped out in the hall I was forcibly reminded of last night's folly....

Instantly

But it's not too bad.

And it will go away in time....

Right?