Spyder

 

Because, yeah, it was as big as one.

I like to shower early in the morning...start the day all nice and spiffy and no competition for the hot water. When you heat your water with a woodstove, trust me there is competition.

Anyhow there I stood, clad in my reindeer bathrobe, distributing towel, washcloth, and Japanese Cherry Blossom lotion conveniently around the room and there it was.

Literally the biggest spider I have ever seen outside of a pet shop or Google. Mat black, not exactly hairy, but more rough and rugged, and did I mention that it was huge? 

You know how they always talk about spiders the size of a quarter? This specimen could have carried a quarter in each pocket and had room for change. It was more the size of a hubcap. Could've eaten a hummingbird whole and not needed an antacid. 

It was in the tub, but it was in a hurry to get out of the tub, and headed straight for me.

Now you know I'm a nature buff and you might expect that I might do the touchy-feely, nature-sciencey thing and give it a nice tray of tea and crumpets before escorting it outdoors...or maybe to the attic or cellar.

Instead I grabbed a few sheets of that heretofore much hoarded commodity, the collecting of which which may see a resurgence if we get shut down again, swathed it like a mummy, and gave it a swirly.

Like any kid in a middle school bathroom, it protested mightily. It went down, down, down in a gush of flowing water...

And came right back up again, minus a leg but fighting valiantly.

Three flushes and it finally vanished...for good I hope...but I left the lid up so I could watch for it...

Just in case.

And then, just as I was about to step into my personal stream of nice, hot, water, I saw another one on the tub mat. Horrified, I reached for the roll to offer it the same fate. 

Fortunately though, that one, a smaller, more normal-sized specimen, (big as a quarter, but at least not a hubcap), was already dead and didn't reappear. (#What happens in the bathtub doesn't stay in the bathtub).

The whole time that I would normally have spent enjoying the knowledge that no one was going to run cold water for the horses or hot water for dishes, was instead spent hoping that the creepy feeling from the special, shaggy, non-slip tub mat, was water flowing through the pointy things, not more spiders, reaching up to grab my toes.

I will not be telling Peggy about this event. Even after a summer of introducing her to beautiful orb web spinners in the garden, she is not a fan of spiders. 

Meanwhile, sorry/not sorry.....