Ask Not

 

Early morning, sun just boiling its way through dirty cotton clouds of grey.

Walking the Mackster, clad in reindeer robe and knock-off crocs, chatting with my brother far away.

When the whistle blew down at the firehouse in town. 

It sounded urgent and scary and like mothers do I catalogued the locations of offspring and loved ones. As far as I knew everyone was in a safe place, so I said a small prayer for whomever the bell was tolling and went back to chatting.

Went inside, made coffee, and was stuffing my pockets full of the detritus of a woman who was raised with Boy Scouts and needs to be prepared at all times. Plus a mask, which is a relatively recent addition to the Swiss army knife, shepherd's whistle, hair clip, etc.

When Mack started alarming.

It wasn't the frantic BARK!! BARK!! BARK!!! that signifies the arrival of the dreaded Ren...he is terrified of her and lets us know whenever she is on the prowl.

Nope it was the "KATIE BAR THE DOOR"  bark that indicates someone outside.

I shushed the little beggar (hopefully without unnecessary profanity) and told him, "There's no one there you fool."

Then I looked out the kitchen window.

Well, who's the fool now! It was a volunteer fireman and a state trooper (!!!!!)

Someone had reported smoke coming down the hill from here. I assured them that I had just gone in the house and was in the yard when the whistle blew and if there was smoke I would have seen it.

Not sure they believed me, but I told them I was sorry they were called out for nothing and they went on their way. I surely hope it was just a mistake and that one of our neighbors isn't facing something bad. When you live in a small town live this even people whom you don't know are neighbors and you worry about them. 

And boy, oh, boy, am I ever glad that I was dressed in something other than a ratty old green reindeer bathrobe when the neighbors who watch over us and keep us safe showed up.

Now You See Me

At first she didn't see me

Then she did

I see you

I do too

Likewise

Myself as well

Hey you! Mind your own bee's wax
No peeking!

 

The Cupcake

 Each morning Mack and I spend some quality time in the kitchen before the rest of the house is astir. In weather as cold as this he can't go out to his run, and it is risky to leave him unobserved, so when I can't be with him he is crated. When I can be in the kitchen though, we have good times, and in warm weather he can be out a lot.

Today I chanced leaving him alone while I fed the birds. It takes only a tiny amount of time...I can get them fed before the microwave is finished with my coffee and I only heat that for two minutes.

When I got back in today, all seemed well. No shredded plastic bags found under something in the pantry. No stolen Peggy lunchbox. No socks, shoes, bottle caps, knives or other miscellany lying around half destroyed. Considering that he is a Jack Russell Terrier that is pretty darned good. I was happy.

Until a couple of hours later when the boss and I were heading out to chase a few birds and run a couple of errands. 

There was a smear of something dark on the table. Hot button with me. Certain individuals like to construct sammiches there without benefit of plates. It's a nice table my next younger brother built, beautiful reddish blonde butcher block style and I love it. No sammiches should ever touch its silky surface.

However, the boss swore he hadn't done the dastardly deed...and then I remembered....

The cupcake!

Seems we folks of the feminine persuasion attended a shower the other day. We brought home some chocolate cupcakes with peanut butter frosting. I ate mine on the way home, and Becky had hers. There was just one left and  it had been on the table the night before in all its glory.

It was gone.

Of course it was gone...wrapper and all.

Now, I could of course have rushed my little guy to the vet for charcoal and supportive therapy etc. However, I decided to watch him for symptoms and hope that he was okay. I've had dogs steal chocolate before with never any sign of ill effects.

However, I watched that dog like a hawk all day. He had more walkies and playtime and hugs and cuddles than he could believe he was getting. Almost wagged his stubby little tail off. Every time we had to leave, I rushed in to check him and give him some attention the minute we got back.

He seemed completely fine, but still I worried. We got back from Sprout Brook this afternoon, and I noticed LIz had his crate covered...he hates Ren and barks incessantly if he can see her.

I asked how he was. 

She said, "He's fine, just as much of a jerk as ever. All he does is bark.

    Why?"

So I told her about the cupcake.

"Oh, Mom, Peggy and I ate the cupcake last night. We shared it."

Of course they did.

Cupcakes?
Who said cupcakes?

The Good Parts

 

I don't necessarily enjoy sharing the roads with unlit vehicles that meander along in the dark unseen until close calls ensue.
However, one bright side of living near hundreds of Amish families is that lambs and calves and brand spanking new foals abound. 

I am still deeply bogged in trying to give people money. Back in the day we would have received paper bills, written checks, and sent the payments on their way. Now with both of Mom's phones no longer functioning it is impossible to change bank accounts on several of her creditors' websites. They just won't let me add my phone or add the estate account without her phones. Calling is usually unhelpful, as all I get is why they can't help me. Frustrating indeed.

Sometimes I bird a little with this guy

However, although we don't travel like we did before gas prices went up and I got this new part time job chasing Mom and Dad's stuff, we do get out.

And we see some wonderful things, not all of them birds....not that there is any shortage of birds either. Migration is just gaining momentum now and the first warblers and summer sparrows are beginning to show up. (Also some less wonderful but still interesting things, like the flooded pickanick table and the photo below.) It takes some of the sting out of doing battle with the drones.

We often stop to watch the beavers at a small backroad pond
The other day there was a dead one between the bank and the road.
No way of knowing if he was hit by a car, killed by another beaver (pond is tiny and crowded) or met his
demise in some other way. However, check out those chompers!

Great Balls of...

 

Snow!?!!! Think I'll stay......

Sprout Brook Auction

 

Appears to be sprouting.....and it's not until Saturday!!!

Was it the Air or the Date on the Calendar

 

Yesterday was filled with lotsa drama, don't cha know. First was the starvation and coffee deprivation of an early morning blood test. The place where we go was fenced off and shrouded in construction tarps with no clear path of entry. The place where you pick up brochures to tell you about procedures was full of Advent messages. (Helpful in some instances, but not this one.)

We didn't find a way in until Ralph caught up with a couple of security guards and they directed him.

Then there was a tumultuous confrontation between the several large, imposing, security guards and a person, obviously from the big fruity city down near Long Island, who thought she was above the rules. It was loud. There were F-bombs. Several police agencies were deployed and employed.

We were treated to the delightful phrase, "Flashlight rent-a-cop" which even the target of the epithet found funny later.

This all unfolded a few feet from where I quietly perched awaiting my turn.

Eventually the miscreant was escorted outside and calm was restored. I got stabbed and bandaided and scurried eagerly away from that awful place.

Savannah Sparrow

Then we went birding...sort of a reward for surviving the event described above.

There is this spot we used to visit regularly where we could see shorebirds noodling around in mud flats and find Rusty Blackbirds and all. Last year we were routed by a very angry person and have only birded from the road since. It is frustrating to see goodies from up there and not be able to photograph them but better than not seeing them at all.

We stopped there for a minute, grabbed the first Greater Yellowlegs of the year, and headed out. Two stops later we were approached by a couple in a great big truck. ...oh, no not again....To our amazement they very kindly said they were sorry about last year and invited us to park down in that little hole and bird whenever we want to. Happy, happy, joy, joy. Turns out they had good reason to be angry last year, just not at us.

Coltsfoot

With afternoon came the endless frustration of trying to pay people and entities to whom my parents owed money when they passed. Without passwords or pins this is ridiculously difficult. I am just trying to give these people money. Why do they make it so hard!!!!!....AT$T, I am talking about you.... Stop sending me from operator to operator and just take the money.

Come nightfall there was a strange truck parked well-hidden, in the barn driveway. Although there are surveyors who are allowed to visit, we are supposed to receive notice of same. Strange truck, strange time of day, no badges, no notice. Authorities were summoned. Turns out the guy was legit, but dang. You have the phone number and are lucky the gate wasn't
locked.

Not much later I was glad to go to bed and put paid to Tuesday the 13th of April. It was a weird one for sure.

Doin' a Concern

 

OMG, Dad, Tremors!

Walking at the Hale Creek Field Station, accompanied by my baby brother, Matthew, and his Blue Heeler, Lucy.

This is not good!

Tapping in first-of-the-year..... at least for Fulton County.... Golden-crowned Kinglets and Chipping Sparrows galore, plus loads of other cheerful chirpers partaking of the shelter of the nearby evergreens.

Doin' a heckin concern dad, let's get out of here!

Lucy was nonchalant, casual, content to be with her person, out in the open with all those nifty small ponds all in nice chains, the creek rattling nearby, and sweet spring breezes wafting up fine scents for a dog's good nose.

And then suddenly.....concern!

Unsafe at any speed

A Bite of the Elephant

 

He is Risen

Happy Easter 

Big News for Northview Farm

It is not terribly well-known, but Yakushima Island is one of the rainiest places in the world. It is said that it rains there "35 days a month."

Even less well-known is the reason for all that precipitation. However, thanks to negotiations that have been ongoing over the last 36 months, we are going to be in on the ground floor so to speak, of the special feature that makes the little island so damp. We will be selling these rain-making capabilities through a franchise to drought stricken areas all over the world. Under the auspices of No More Sahara.com, we will be sending little rain-producing rockets wherever they are needed.

That's right! We are getting......

Yakushima Rain Ducks!

Yup. We had to jump through hoops you couldn't imagine, from background checks to year-long humidity monitors in all our buildings, including the house, (in case sick ducklings need to be brought indoors for extra nursing). There have been scientists here nearly every day since we sold the cows.

You know how it's rained so much here over the past few years? I wasn't allowed to tell you about it, but the company was testing flights of ducklings, to make sure this was the right kind of location for them. Habitat is everything, you see. One worry I have had is escapees. It is hard enough to make hay here now.....guess we had better keep the pens real tight.

Anyhow, we were finally awarded a franchise. Right now there are only five in the world! It isn't going to be easy.

You see, for their entire lives, right up until they are deployed, the ducklings must be kept damp. Dry air triggers them. I can't reveal the exact percentage of moisture in their proper environment due to non-disclosure agreements we were required to sign, but as long as they are appropriately soggy, they will not deploy their special rain-making capabilities. However, let them dry out, even for a few minutes, and look out. They are very fast fliers too, and can fly within three weeks after hatching. They must be brooded, either under mother ducks, which must be allowed to swim in special, sterile water, at least 30 times per day (have you ever tried to keep water clean around ducks, let alone sterile?) in order to keep their feathers properly dampened........

...Or else they are hatched in special sponge-walled incubators, and brooded in imported terry-cloth lined bread boxes, with special wicking technology that keeps them just wet enough, while warming them to the correct temperature with hot water bottles, which must be refilled every hour, around the clock.

On their native island the ducks are raised in buildings that look a lot like greenhouses, with special green glass walls that protect them from excess sunlight (don't want them drying out) and keep them from flying too much as they fledge. The little white ducks ability to fly so fast and so early is part of what makes them so valuable.

Here at Northview, we will not be allowed to keep mother or father ducks. No More Sahara is afraid of losing control of the breeding stock.....remember Noah? Yeah, he had two of them and look what happened. Thus the kids have been setting up racks of the brooders and incubators, and sterile pens (with very tight roofs) for the ducklings after they are fledged. You see, the secret to their ability to cause it to rain, is their feathers.

Each duck has myriad curly feathers, covered with tiny comb-like cilia, which agitate the air when they fly, producing rain droplets 86.7% of the time. Two ducks flying over your house will result in a short shower, just enough to lay the dust. Two-hundred ducks will produce an all-day, all-night, steady rain, which is perfect for crop needs, or to help in postponing unpleasant social gatherings. When a couple of thousand escaped from a Chinese duckery back in 2004 the resulting monsoon was no joke.

Right now, the ducks, when fledged, will sell for about 160 dollars each, but as they become more readily available, that will probably go down. Maybe not though. This may be the next big thing, like llamas and emus and all.

The most elegant part of the rain duck equation is that once the ducklings have done their watery thing... and they can only do it once....they glide to the ground, molt the fuzzy white feathers, and quickly grow new ones that make them look like ordinary mallards....that huge flock that wintered down in front of McDonald's? Yup, they came from here. Thus the landscape will not be cluttered up with funny looking fluffy white ducks after every rain duck deployment. It's a win-win deal..

Meanwhile, Charles M. Hatfield, the founder of No More Sahara, believes that with proper use of duck technology, drought will be a thing of the past, and deserts optional landscaping features. Mankind has always wanted to control the weather. Duckkind has been doing it all along.

Anyhow, the kids are out in the barn right now, unpacking the special cases of rain duck eggs and setting them in the fancy brooders....I suppose that I had better go help them.

Click here for information on how you too can get a Rain Duck franchise.

*Rerun from 2016 when things were funnier all around 

Out Like a Lion

 

A mink crossing the canal at Yankee Hill Lock
before the ice went out

Although really, even as ferocious as lions are, this wind seems more like the breath of an ice dragon. An angry one.

What is with all this wind anyhow? I know March winds doth blow and all, but it seems as if each two-day blast is stronger than the one before.

Bunny under the bird feeder
Eastern Cottontail or
 left-over domestic from the rabbit raising days?

First it was bird feeders and canvases blowing around the yard. Then the wind stripped the landscape fabric off the garden.

A bucket of stone drill cores tipped over and rolled off the tarp it was weighing down.

Metal lawn chairs flew through the air with the greatest of ease.

Today the heavy aluminum grain shovel that was next to the back door was tossed out into the driveway along with a couple of other, lighter tools.

It is hard to sleep with the house twisting and shaking and rattling and groaning. It is unpleasant to contemplate outdoor chores or even going birding. The boss asked this morning as he usually does and it was nothing but nope.

Guess we have some places we have to drive today, but i am not looking forward to it one bit. Maybe it will let up a little bit later.

Meanwhile, somebody sneak down and pull the plug on the Devil's wind machine if you will please.