Father's Day

 

For my brothers and me this will be our first Father's Day without Dad. It is hard.

It is the same for several of my cousins. We have always been a close family and those dads who were uncles too will be missed painfully today. Too many losses over the past few months, way too many.

However, for our own dear boy, it will be his first Father's Day, and that is what lights up the world for me. His new baby girl was much anticipated and loved long before she joined us here, and now... 

Welcome to the world Bailey Rae... and Happy Father's Day, Alan.

For all of you who read this, if you have your dad, hug him. Then hug him again, and then once more. I'm glad you can.

And if you don't, may the loving memories sustain you through today and all the other days without the ones who raised you.

A special Happy Father's Day to the dad of my three kids...I'm talking to you Ralph.... and to his wonderful son, Scott, who is a terrific dad to his two girls. And to all of you dads who might be reading this...it's your day!

Sunday Stills....Morning

 

For more Sunday Stills....

In Peace

 

Paradise to a city kid

I remember being a little scared when my aunt started dating him. She was a rock in my quicksand world and I was worried that she might shift away from me.

Instead of that he swiftly became another solid place to lean when times got shaky, a mentor, a friend, and like a second father all my life.

The barn where I learned to love farming

I learned to love farming and respect farmers in my deepest heart, running tame on his family's farm, playing in the creek and jumping out of the haymow in late summer. Falling asleep to the call of the Whippoorwills and waking to the songs of the robins. It was paradise to a city kid with a wild love of animals and a deep need for the outdoors and a peaceful place to learn and grow. I loved it there and I loved the people who made it feel safe and welcoming.

After I was all raised up and turned loose on the world, married to my own sturdy farmer and reveling in it, it was a thing of great joy and satisfaction to talk cows and fields and weather with him.

I learned so very much from him, not least what a great work ethic and a real interest in other people looks like. When you talked to him you knew he was really listening and cared about your thoughts and words.

He left this world yesterday after a long, hard struggle and left a lot of empty hearts behind him. It is often said when someone passes that they left the world a better place than they found it....with my Uncle Rich it is true for so very many people....he is going to be missed.

Sunday Stills...Look Up

 

For more Sunday Stills....

Damn the Ticks, Full Speed Ahead

 

Savannah Sparrow

I woke up this morning....very early...with the idea of walking way back in the fields.

Feeding a chick

It was still too dark, but as soon as it was light enough to see the birds...around 6...I started up the hill. I hoped to confirm breeding in some of the grassland birds that we know nest on our land.

Female Bobolink

It was a great walk, although the grass was over my head in many places, hence my concern about ticks. I didn't finish birding until around ten, and then, just as I submitted what would have been my final list, I spotted a male Downy Woodpecker feeding a male juvenile at the suet feeder. They seem to bring their young in every year to introduce them to the wonders of bird feeders and are absurdly tame.

Male Bobolink

Up in the fields I found Bobolinks carrying food, which confirms breeding, and Savannah Sparrows actually feeding chicks. I don't think I have ever managed to confirm them before so that was really cool.

Willow Flycatcher...Fitz bew!

There was an Alder Flycatcher too, and I tried

really hard to record his Free Beer but he was too far away

If you would like to see what I saw, I think you can by clicking the links to my lists below.

Song Sparrow, gleaning bits of hay from the
disc bine for a nest

List one, the walk from the house to the top of the hill.

List two, the 30-acre Lot

List three, the Old Spreader Field.

List four, the walk back down the hill.

Eastern Phoebe

I made a couple of lists at the house as well. The poor boss is sick with a honey badger of a cold, so I am on my own for bird chasing, but I still had a terrific time. I sure hope he feels better soon though...No ticks on me so far, after a couple of tick checks...hopefully that trend continues.

Papa Downy Woodpecker feeding his chick

Another Savannah Sparrow

Summer Days

 

The smell of fresh mowed hay and Riverbank Grapes in bloom, Cottonwood seeds drifting on the wind. Baby robins everywhere, and the relentless singing of the House Wren on the sitting porch. 

Fans and humidity, summer colds, and hard-to-sleep-hot nights. It's here....sometimes I wondered if it was going to make it.....

The Dutchman

 

You know of course that we lost both our parents four days apart over New Years. They were 87 and 89 and had a good life together, raised us, loved us and all the grandbabies and great grandbabies, and left their mark on the world in many ways. 

They never stopped doing and loving and living right up until the end. 

Covid made that end dark and lonely, something which is very hard to forgive at all, ever. Bad things were done and happened that I am not going to talk about here, but they sure should not keep families apart at such times. 

Anyhow, more than they loved all of us, they loved each other. They were more entwined than anyone I knew...utterly dependent on one another. If one was in the hospital the other pined and did all they could to fix things if they could. They never went anywhere without each other, shared hobbies and pastimes and work and play.

Mom was so damned strong that it humbled me. She simply did everything she could to make life right for Dad. She taught me to go after what was needed no matter how hard it might have been to ask.  He knew that he needed her and just how much and acted accordingly. I hope they are rewarded in Heaven for what they went through in their final weeks.

When they went it was as if the center shifted and the light went off in the world. I had them sixty-eight years, my whole life, and it wasn’t nearly enough.

But for three months I never cried. Not a tear, no dampness in the corner of the eye. Numbness and mournful malaise for sure but no tears. 

Then one day I was listening to the High Kings perform the Dutchman on my cell phone playlist, while I washed the dishes. 

Margaret and the Dutchman seemed to personify my parents’ relationship and the way they propped each other up and cherished each other for so many years.

I looked up at their pictures on the wall over the stove and started crying and couldn’t stop. The rest of that day was a melting watercolor of every loss I’ve ever felt, especially over the past 18 months.

Okay, everybody needs that. Good, maybe I will move on now.

Except that every single time I hear the song, no matter how determined I am to not react I do. Same way every time.

Many probably see me as a hard person. Or at least stoic. Farming can bring on the hard, all the while softening the center where no one sees. It certainly fosters stoicism. You just get used to things happening that you can’t control and learn to roll with it and just move on.

However, that song absolutely dissolves me right down to nothing every single time I hear it.

Should I take if off my playlist and harden the old shell, or leave it there on shuffle to sneak up on me with its reminders of all that is missing? 

We lost so many close family members, beloved aunts, an amazing uncle, good friends from all over the world in the past few months……I just don’t know. 

Where the Wild Things Were

 

After several rainy days that didn't lure us out birding, the sun came out so we dropped the girls off at work and headed for our favorite state parks.

Orchard Grass in bloom

At Schoharie Crossing SHS boat launch, Ralph thought he saw a fox as we drove in. I missed it entirely. However, after happily discovering a couple of Blackpoll Warblers in the canal lane, I heard barking from the woods up ahead.

It sounded like tiny little lap dogs having fun together, but I had a feeling it was nothing domestic.

However, I didn't see anything on my way back to the car.

Then on the way out the two little critters above were playing on the edge of the soybean field near the lane. Since they weren't in our chicken pen, I thought they were pretty cute.

Not so cute was the individual at the next park we visited. First thing we heard when we got out of the car was somebody banging rocks together.

Odd....but sure enough there was a tall, youngish kind of guy, seemingly on a walking tour or something judging by the little pack he carried and his general lack of recent grooming, making noise with rocks...or something that sounded like rocks.

I thought nothing of it. There are lots of people using the park for lots of things. I just wanted to find birds.

I did a quick scan of the waterfront, then headed up on the bike path to make sure that the noisy Chipping Sparrow there wasn't by some amazing chance a Worm-eating Warbler.

It wasn't, but as I climbed the little hill the guy came uphill too, into the parking lot. There he wandered back in forth aimlessly in front of our car, alternately peering into the canal or walking up and down the stone wall. It seemed kinda random....there is really nothing there....

As soon as I stopped up on the hill to bird he quickly hiked right straight up to me. I was a little disconcerted, but he said hi and seemed to be going to hike east on the path. He walked off briskly so I turned away, thinking he was just a hiker after all.

I was still a little uncomfortable though, so I thought, good, I'll go west. I stopped for a few seconds on the side of the road and heard a soft noise right behind me.

His brisk walk had taken him about six feet down the bike path and he was standing there with his foot on a post just a few feet away from me.

I meet people in those parks all the time, and rarely feel the least bit concerned, but his silent lurking so close and so quiet, creeped me right out.

I hustled down to the car as fast as I could walk and found the boss sleeping there with all the doors locked....guess he felt the same way I did.

Riverbank Grapes in bloom, my favorite fragrance
in the whole world...better than cookies!

The guy was still standing at the head of the path, staring into the bushes when we drove away.

We found another park so I could get my birding fix in a more comfortable atmosphere....

Am I too paranoid, or was there something off about the guy? Hard telling, but I wouldn't do anything different if the situation arose again.

Some Gave All

 

Sunday Stills...Leading Lines

 I forgot this entirely this week and was only reminded when I saw that some of my good blog friends had put their entries up. As we didn't make it to the railroad tracks or any of the local powerlines, here are some from this winter....leading you into the heart of the storm I guess.

For more Sunday Stills....

I Dreamed

 

That I forgot her birthday and got myself in B-I-G trouble.....

But I didn't...

So Happy Birthday, Liz! Hope you have a wonderful day and a joyful and productive year to come. Hang in there....

Sunday Stills....Roads

 

For more Sunday Stills

Deer

This deer and the one below are
not the same deer, or even the same day

This one was here on the farm a while back
and the one above was today out on the road

And these are bunnies.
Eastern Cottontails
Sylvilagus Floridanus