Sunday, June 08, 2008
Milk snakes and gorgeous mornings
We have gone from frost nine days ago to temps in the mid nineties. It takes some getting used to. so I guess we will just get used to it. The corn loves it anyhow, and what with all the frigid weather, it needs it. Cows don't like it much. We have been keeping them in nights and feeding them hay, because the pasture they are on has temporary fence. (Not to be confused with permanent fence, which is, in theory at least, more reliable.). However, last night with every fan in the place running full speed they were panting and hanging their heads. We took a gamble and let them back out. I went over with the boss and Liz this morning, to help get them back in even though it is my morning off, because the two-year-olds have yet to learn where their stalls are. They didn't bother much though, for which I was most grateful.
Yesterday must have been milk snake day. Liz caught the itty bitty one above yesterday out on the bridge between the farms. It was so cute and perfect, right down to the egg "tooth"
Some of the photos I took actually show the tooth, but are otherwise blurry, because I was in a big old hurry to get Liz to let the little thing loose again. The boss thinks he turned a nest of them out when he was moving earth getting a lane ready to put cows in another pasture.
Then last night, while we were finishing up Alan caught a great big one in the same spot. The second one was as long as my leg from knee to ankle and as big around as a finger. When he let it down and it poured itself away over the ridges and bumps in the barn yard its beauty was amazing and indescribable. Milk snakes are my favorite of the slithery clan. They remind me of the Oriental carpets my dad used to get in the antique store sometimes when I was a kid. Wish I could have photographed the big one, but we were getting done real late last night (dump run, house work, fence building, Liz made spaghetti and homemade bread and garlic bread, shopping for a new string trimmer to get weeds out of the fence...all in all a long, busy day) and I needed to finish helping with the cows.
Then this morning the sun came up amid solid HHH. The weather is going to be a major source of misery for the next few days, but it is still pretty. Alan has gone to the big tractor pull in Dansville today with his big brother. I will worry...it is my job. He will have fun...that is his job...and he took the little camera so hopefully he will have some nice pictures of the big rigs for you tomorrow.
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Got water?
Weather fellas say two or three inches yesterday morning. I say I hate it when it thunders when we are milking. So much metal around. And nervous cows. It knocked the power out for a while, which is why there was only a wimpy post yesterday. When the lightning started making the lights flash on and off I just unplugged everything and went to the barn...
I am having algae problems in the pond so I changed the fountain. We have been hearing toads every night and I thought they were here.
However, thanks to having to reset the bedroom digital clock late last night....by guess and by gosh......
And getting it wrong........ so I got up half an hour early and went out with the dog in the not quite dawn.
I discovered that they are instead down in the heifer barn watering trough. Chlorinated water. Emptied and refilled every couple of days. Heifers snorting around in it.....Hmmm.......
They don't know what they are missing.
Friday, June 06, 2008
Argentine food crisis
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Revenge of the Lawn
I learned so much while writing this one! I was constantly calling in to the boss, who was reading in the other room. Things like, "Did you know that Sears sold 325,000 pressure cookers in 1943?"
Or, "Did you know that we in America plant three times as much ground in lawn as in corn?"
Here are some of the places I visited in my search for data to back up my positive thoughts about gardens and my somewhat less than positive feelings about lawns.
Victory Garden
The Murder of a Garden
Landscapes and the Law
Garden on Trial
Lawn Nation (if you click any of these, click this one...amazing!)
And, last but not least, Revenge of the Lawn (which will tell you something about my reading tastes in college.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Tai Chi for cows
And something I have learned after years of living in the country.
No matter what
No matter when
No matter how
If you think you are alone and you do something silly
Funny looking
or just plain stupid and wrong
Somebody will see you....even if you are in your farthest, remotest, plumb hiddenest field..
They will pop out of the bushes or come up the driveway or fly over in an airplane taking pictures.
(We have Murphy's Law out here in the boondocks too you know).
Tai chi! If I tried it, I'll bet it would be all over town in an hour and not because the cows told on me either.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Road trip
Ran errands again with the girls while the boss spread fertilizer and disked it in. I don't know if he is going to plant corn tomorrow or try to bale some hay or both. We barely see him since Liz is home and he can do field work whenever he wants to.
Naturally we bought some cheese too. How could we not?
Monday, June 02, 2008
Fun with French Fries
Yesterday Liz just had one of those feelings....something wrong with the heifers and dry cows. She went out to the pasture where they are stationed and sure enough River had had a calf and had pushed him down in our deepest ravine (which has a creek at the bottom.) Liz got them both out and came on down to report. Calf was a week early, tiny (you can pick it up under one arm) and a bull. Oh well.
Anyhow, while we were bringing him and his mama in to the barn we decided to bring all the close up dries in too and get them up to speed on grain feeding. (We have a serious selenium deficiency in the soil in this area and they can get some in the cow grain we feed. Selenium is a major aid to successful calving and the passing of the placenta afterward.)
After that nifty little rodeo concluded we were admiring last year's show heifer, Blink, who was running with them. Liz and I were joking about how she probably could walk right up to her and feed her French Fries. She loved them SO much last summer. The boss thought we were nuts and bet that she couldn't.
Well, now, it just so happened that we had French fries with our party dinner the night before. And it just so happened that we didn't eat them all., So....nothing would do, but Liz run over to the house and grab a handful to test the theory.
Blink was a little hawky after running wild since last fall. She let Liz get semi, sorta, kinda close and then stretched her neck out very, very long to sniff.....very long, giraffe neck...standing on tippy hoofs, ready to bolt away with her tail up.
And then she scented the French fries. Out came the tongue, down went the heels, and she gobbled them all up like the fair was yesterday instead of last year.
We roared with laughter.
Too bad we didn't put any meaningful stakes on our bet though.
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Thunder boomers, koi and calf relocations
The first right while we were milking last night. Nothing serious, just got us wet with a good rain. We needed it. One upshot of that was a toad serenade last night. (I think they were partying down in the garden pond.) Amphibians, except for red backed salamanders, have been mighty scarce this spring. Dry weather I guess. Anyhow, it seems wonderful to me that something as homely as a toad has such a lovely song.
Actually right from the get go we had an amazing day yesterday. Thanks to Teri at Farm Life we discovered Craigslist. Now we check the local farm and gardens listings several times a day. Thus we discovered that someone over by Mariaville Lake had baby koi for sale for two bucks each. We all made the trip over and bought seven. However, the nice lady whose front yard pond is apparently teeming with little orange, silver, white and black fishies, threw in three extras.
Now if they will just stay IN the pond. We have had a terrible time with koi jumping out in the past. I am hoping they grow and thrive.
Only four of our old gold fish made it through to warm weather, although they all survived the winter. They contracted a terrible bacterial disease just as the weather warmed up though and died in droves. I am sure we would have been fine, but the spring fed watering trough where we have kept most of them for the past twenty years or so dried up and we had to put all those fish in the garden pond last fall. Not good. Way too crowded.
so we needed to move her to a big stall
At night we had an "end of internship and two kids graduating" sort of party with pizza, calzone, grinders, French fries and the new National Treasure movie. (Grumpy old party pooper mom read a John Grisham novel, but stayed in the vicinity.)
It was nice. A really great day. I feel lucky. Maybe it is was the koi
Saturday, May 31, 2008
James and the Giant......
Errr.....I mean Becky and the giant......egg. This egg was laid by Chick Pea, Becky's Buff Orpington hen. She only lays about one a week, but these massive double yolkers max out our old fashioned egg scale. On the electronic scale they each come out to 3.7 ounces, a full 1.2 ounces larger than a jumbo egg.
Song Sparrow Saturday
The internship is over. The kind folks who hired Liz for it had one of their official farm sweat shirts made for her, so now she can represent two farms, as her big brother made her a shirt for our farm for Christmas. I know she will miss them, but it sure will be good to have her home. Regular mornings off this weekend and next week we tackle our calf placement issues.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Rippling grass and chilly temperatures
Alan says we did have frost in spots night before last so I am glad the plants were tucked into the living room or covered with towels and doggie blankets (I even put my favorite polar fleece work jacket around Grandma Peggy's old snake plant and then put that on top of the scion of Grandpa Lachmayer's old snake plant. I should have brought them both in but it was getting dark and I was getting about done with what I could do in a day. Anyhow they are both fine as is the ancient burros tail, which spends every summer in the honey locust, which I completely and entirely forgot (smart, real smart).
***Update, Alan was right about the frost. One of the water cannas on the garden pond took a hit. Just the edges of the leaves were burned brown, but it sure must have been cold to freeze it inches above the water. Wow!
Thursday, May 29, 2008
In just one night
Liz was home to milk last night because of a day off. With an extra person to milk the north string we were able to let the boss have the night "off" to use the skid steer to clean the yearling pen. (It is bedding pack, but it was pretty bad). Alan milked the east and part of the west strings so the milk line didn't flood out and drop all the machines on the floor half way through. We have an inch and a half pipeline and cows that need two inches. In summer when they are on grass and really milking heavy it is a nightmare getting the milk through the line. Becky was able to just feed the calves and go cook dinner for us.
Thus we were done half an hour early. So we put Bama Breeze and Chevelle out in the pen with the six already there. That cut Becky's calf watering work load a bit. And dinner was ready when we got in from chores.
It was very, very nice!
(And I look forward to more of it, greedy old me.)
Anyhow, it was still daylight when we got in...to find a freeze warning had been issued. I have been checking the forecast several times a day as I have all my house plants out and much stuff in the ground. At four in the afternoon two stations were calling for about 44 for the overnight temperature. And then they changed their minds. Anyhow everybody pitched in to help me get stuff in and covered, but of course, I forgot stuff. Don't know if it actually frosted, but it sure tried. Crazy weather. All my life and I suspect all my parents' and grandparent's lives (after all they are the ones who taught me to garden), Memorial Day has been considered a safe last frost date here in upstate NY. Now last year we had a freeze June 8th and it is this cold the last week in May this year. Global warming is making it darned cold here is all I can say.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Two more days
just at this time of year.
Anyhow, I sure can't wait. This will be the first fall in many, many moons that somebody has actually not had to go back to school. Every year we get a great routine going over the summer. We work well together and play a little and end up with a great sense of satisfaction at how life and work and family are going along. Then comes school, everybody leaves and it is down to me and the boss and whoever can fill in when they aren't in class.
The fun kind of goes out of everything then and it is all work and no play.
This year Beck and Alan will both be in college, but at least Liz will be staying home.
I think it will be nice.
Heck, I know it will be nice....now if we had them all home, oh, heck guess I shouldn't get greedy.
Been saying this all along
I have been writing in the Farm Side about this since the short list of possible sites was first announced and they were all inland. So have some other bloggers and a few news folks. I still can't believe that our trusty government wants to put a lab exploring deadly and highly infectious cattle diseases right in the middle of cattle country. Can anybody say disaster looking for (and finding) a place to happen?
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Blog friends and poultry
I can't tell you how much I value the online community. Folks that I have met through blogging and other online activities have offered friendship, a sympathetic ear when things are hard, perspective when things seem hard but really aren't, and a never ending wealth of humor and great photography every day of the year. The whole family has had the opportunity to get to know what every day life is like all over the USA and Canada and to enjoy wildlife, ranch life and ordinary life of all kinds. Folks I have "met" here at my desk in the dining room have been kind enough to help me with every kind of thing from starting fires with wet wood to doing a better job of taking pictures myself (I found the button, Steve).
However, I have never, until Sunday, actually met a real live blogger. A while ago though I mentioned that I was having a hard time finding chickens. Since Empire Livestock closed the small livestock section of the Tuesday auction it is hard to just pick up a couple extra hens. When I said something about this phenomenon on a blog I regularly read the owner offered to give me some chicks.
I didn't have the slightest trepidation about saying yes. You can tell from her writing that this is a very special lady and I couldn't wait to meet her in person. Sunday I dressed in my best farmer chic (blue cotton work shirt and jeans worn so thin and soft they feel fuzzy) and Alan, Beck, the boss and I headed out. We met at the Tractor Supply near the kids college. There we found out that Teri is every bit as nice in person as she seems on her blog. And the chickens are the cutest things you can imagine. Becky has taken right a hold of caring for them and keeps them in this cage in the hen house days and in a box in the kitchen nights. They are probably fledged enough to be out all the time, but with chickens being such a scarce commodity we are taking no chances with them. It is interesting to sit in the kitchen at night and listen to them twitter to themselves as they fall asleep. With papa wren on the front porch singing his babies to sleep and them in the kitchen it is sort of like surround sound with birds.
So thanks, Teri, for the poultry, it was super to meet you. And double thanks for the introduction to the local farm version of Craig's List....(now there is an addictive pastime! The boss and I went through all the ads yesterday morning and just had a ball...) It was real neat to actually meet another blogger. Maybe someday I will get to see others in person....you never know.
Monday, May 26, 2008
More Tales from the Key Drive
This one is from '06
Getting ready for the fair in some ways resembles a landslide on a jagged mountainside. It starts with a single pebble click, click, clicking as it falls. It is hard to believe that it will soon obliterate every other aspect of farm life, taking on the semblance of an all-consuming pile of quicksand.
The earliest event in the fair-ward journey is no more earth shaking than that first pebble. While we are milking, someone asks, “Which do you think looks better, Medina or Mendocino?”
A discussion of the relative merits of two calves begins. It is not too heated as it is long before the fair; no one needs to decide anything. Yet.
A totally irrelevant picture
Then as the weeks roll by the rumbling of the avalanche grows ever louder as fair preparations threaten to take over our lives.
The trucker must be called and decorations planned, purchased and assembled. Once chosen, calves must be trained to lead, bathed and clipped. Oh, and hopefully registered in time for the papers to be back before the show. In the case of Mendocino, who was selected over Medina based on pedigree (daughter of Fustead Emory Blitz, bovine equivalent of Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp rolled into one), greater height and sharpness, wider chest floor and the all-important fact that her mother is Lizzie’s favorite show cow, bathing takes on epic magnitude.
She is nearly pure white, not an auspicious color for a show calf. And not to put too fine a point on it, she is a hawg. Show her something brown and she will lie in it. She will dabble her tail in it too and paint her sides as far north as it will reach. (Of course she has a long tail.) If she can’t find something brown to lie in, she is a determined do it yourselfer. So every day, I say to the calf washer, “Throw that Blitz on the wash rack and let her soak while you’re clipping the other calves. And give her some bedding for Pete’s sake.”
This is futile as she eats any and all bedding, then looks around for more.
There is an intense competition between proponents of the little brown cow and fans of the big black and white ones here at Northview too. And of course sibling rivalry must contribute to the thunder of the developing landslide. Thus Alan snidely calls to Liz as she scrubs on Hazel, this year’s Jersey junior heifer calf, “Rub harder, maybe you can get all that brown off.”
He also takes me aside and suggests (quite loudly of course), “I know just what to do for Liz for Christmas this year. We’ll get some black and white paint and paint all her Jerseys. Then at least they will look like real cows instead of pasture lice.”
I shake my head and wonder at the wisdom of a lad who insults his sister’s favorite cattle while she has a fully charged water hose in her hand. Especially in light of the fact that the fair starts next week and she has a driver’s license and he doesn’t.
Ah well, as the number of days between now and truck-in day decrease, the spirit of cooperation increases, out of dire necessity if nothing else. There had been a vociferous battle, with many verbal stones thrown, over whether Alan’s two-year-old heifer, Bayberry, would go to the show or not. Like many boys he has sometimes used the necessity for him to go to the fair to care for his critters as an excuse to hit the midway with his buddies. This leaves big sister with his cow to work with along with her own. Not a popular phenomenon. Threats and imprecations are uttered on this topic.
Then terrible weather intervenes. There is no way Alan can go to the fair every day to pamper a cow. He can get over there for show night but otherwise he is needed at home to make hay. If the sun shines.
His sister has the choice of taking Bay herself or not having enough milking entries to qualify for Premier Exhibitor or Master Breeder.
Bayberry is going. Liz even rubs liniment on her sore stifle every day. (Poor thing slipped and fell a couple of weeks ago.)
As fair time approaches even the house begins to show the effects of the uproar. There are artificial maple leaves, fake wheat and a bunch of other funky stuff sticking up out of the mismatched sock basket and surging up from the cushions of the couch as if growing there. A crisis emerges when it is noticed that the stall sign for Liz’s Jersey aged cow, Dreamroad Extreme Heather, reads Dreamroad Extreme Heater. However appropriate that might be this summer it must be changed.
Of course an ever-helpful sibling suggests taking off both “H’s” and calling her Dreamroad Extreme Eater.
At least this year Liz is clipping at home, where it is quiet and the electrical outlets work. She was raving today about how nice it is to have the calves all done except for their ears (had to make a trip to town to get new ear clippers yesterday). I point out that I have been suggesting that she do them at home for at least ten years now. She doesn’t want to hear it.
A new dilemma arises. It has rained three days out of the last week. The oats that have been carefully saved in the field to provide bedding for fair stalls are still standing. It is too wet to mow, let alone bale them. Ditto the special second cutting field set aside for show cows. And the first cutting.
Frantic discussion of where enough bedding for ten head and good stuff to feed them can be found before next Monday ensues.
As piles of sand and gravel from the clattering landslide rise high enough to cover my ears, I pray for sunny days. Soon. Oh, and a little extra patience wouldn’t hurt either.
Yet another, equally irrelevant picture, taken at the same time.
As per request
****** Tomorrow I will tell you about actually getting to meet another blogger...first time ever and way too cool!
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Yesterday the garage sales
It was achieved. Now all I need is to go get dirt. I mix composted oats from the great oat fall with sand and composted horse poo. Makes a decent mix and the price is right.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Elvis
You can see why we named him Elvis. He always has to have center stage.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Senior moment
If you don't know, don't feel bad...evidently the band director doesn't either. There are three sections in our high school band, concert, wind ensemble and jazz band. It is a time honored tradition at our school for seniors to be acknowledged during their final concert. In fact Alan wanted to drop band this year and fill that slot in his schedule with something more useful for college. I encouraged him to stay in so he could enjoy his moment of glory as a senior with 8 years of percussion behind him. He did so.
Then last night, the director who shall remain nameless, gushed all over how wonderful the seniors in jazz band were. Raved long and loud about the seniors in wind ensembles. They took bows and got buckets of applause and I am sure were delighted with the attention they received.
And then, completely, totally (and unfixably-this is their LAST ever high school concert after all) forgot the three seniors in the concert band.
We waited and waited for their special moment but, oops, no such luck. They just filed offstage unnoticed. I won't get into the way this particular director has taken what used to be a fun music program and made it technically excellent, yet miserably boring, (instrument of torture comes to mind) for the audience. He likes that weird kinda music and he is the boss. We can suffer through a few hours of really painful music a couple times a year; we are after all adults and all....but to slight kids who have been in band for so many years, since before he was even hired. Well, to me that is inexcusable.
The highlight of the night was wonderful though. Alan's good friends' younger brother (you didn't hear about the helping with the sneaking of a piano into their house for him for Christmas this year because I had to keep Alan's part in that operation a secret for obvious reasons) COMPOSED one of the numbers last night! And it was awesome! One of the two best pieces all night. Lively, dramatic, exciting! (Everything the rest of the program wasn't...no slight to the kids, they play very well. It is just the directors taste in music that hurts.) The young composer got a standing ovation and he richly deserved it!
Then he went on to accompany the mixed chorus on piano completely from memory! Wow!
Anyhow, here is MY salute to 8 years in band. Hey, Alan, we won't forget and you or Anne or Rickie. As always you looked and sounded great last night. Good job!
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Thank you key drive
For saving me on days like this....yesterday the crop insurance auditors (and the Farm Side deadline); today the last high school concert, a bittersweet milestone on the map of family life. This is a tribute to my late mother-in-law, which I don't think I ever actually published. I believe that I wrote it in 2002. She and I had our differences as any two cooks in one kitchen and women on one farm will do. However, I loved her and found out just exactly how deeply when she passed a way. Living here in her house a day never goes by that I don't think of her. I hope I somehow measure up to what she would have wanted...so here's to Peggy, one of the greatest women I ever met...
She was born in the town of Stark in the year fifteen. At first she was so tiny that her daddy, Frank, carried her around the house on a pillow for weeks. Her family wondered if she’d make it at all.
What an illusion that frailness was. She started helping Frank on his farm on Fiery Hill as soon as she could toddle. Milking cows by hand and doing fieldwork were as natural to her as breathing. When I met her she could still push her head into a big Holstein’s flank and make the milk fly with her small but purposeful hands. On Saturdays in spring she had to lead the big buckskin, Dan, pulling the cultivator up and down the rows of corn.
Later she told me how hard it had been to trust the horse not to squash her. She was fearful that his big black hoofs would stomp down on her bare feet and crush them into the hot dust of the cornfield or that he would drag the cultivator through the tender new corn. Still the work had to be done no matter how scary it was. She loved to ride him though, steering him with the driving bridle.
Dan was one of Frank’s fine workhorses, probably more a carriage type animal than a big, heavy horse like you see charging around the show ring today. He was so slow and deliberate in his tread that he never tipped over a stalk of the precious corn. He never did step on her either. She talked about him seventy years later as if he were still waiting out in the barn.
She started school in a one-room schoolhouse, when the teacher came to board at her home when she was three. We have a picture of her, bundled in a thick black coat, much shorter than the other students, but smiling hugely. She always loved to learn. Her education spanned eight decades and encompassed everything from gardening to a knowledge of politics as broad and deep as any scholar of the art. (There are those of us who learned to do our homework before we got into a political discussion with her. It was the only way to avoid walking away muttering and wondering what hit you.)
Frank was a renowned horseman in that area. His teams were called upon when no one else’s horses could get loads of ice or lumber up Fiery Hill. Whereas other farmers had to couple two or three pairs together, Frank could get the job done with one pair of his horses. We have a picture of him driving his yoke of oxen and, so in step are they, that it appears that there is only one ox, the off animal’s legs being totally hidden behind those of the nigh one.
Sadly, Frank was the one who was frail in reality and he died when she was twelve. As often happened in those days, the family was split and she was separated from her mother and sisters. She was sent to live with an old friend of the family who needed extra care, then later found a home with a woman who owned a diner in Booneville. She loved that restaurant and remembered the people who worked with her there very fondly. Roy, the irascible cook dominated the kitchen like a king and kept the girls on a run. She gave him his comeuppance one day when he bent over to check something in the oven as she pared potatoes nearby. She reached out with the razor sharp paring knife and nicked every stitch in the back seam of his trousers. He laughed and gave her hell.
There were some famous patrons among the simple farmers and loggers at the diner. Walter Edmonds, author of Drums Along the Mohawk and Rome Haul, was a regular summer customer. She said that he loved the strawberry shortcake and often stopped in for some during the season.
The loggers came in hungry for fine food after months in logging camp. Hobos were never turned away without a hot meal and a sandwich for the road. There was even a special, substantial dinner that was laid out for any itinerant who called at the back door, with lots of hearty bread and potatoes and gravy to stick to the ribs.
The good cooking she learned at the Brown Derby never left her. She could turn out apple pies with crust as moist and light as the early morning fog at the beginning of a perfect July day. She taught my girls and Alan to cook too. It’s scary. Liz is fifteen and teaches me new recipes. They even inherited her special ability to never use one dish when two would do. When they finish in my kitchen I start looking for the tornado.
She married a local dairy farmer in forty-three and later had two sons. They set to farming with a determination few today could imagine. They raised strawberries and pigs to pay the mortgage. Then they bought a second farm next door. When milking machines came in, her husband milked his string with the new invention while she milked twelve cows by hand-twice a day. Even when her hair was snow white and her steps had slowed enough that toddling grandchildren could keep up with her, she could still send streams of milk drumming onto the floor when she hand-stripped a cow.
At eighty-three, she was still milking cows. Even when she slipped on a grape dropped by an errant grandson and broke her arm; she went to the barn and washed cows with the good one.
She wouldn’t stay in the house in any weather. Snow, ice, it didn’t matter. It was a good thing that the old dog, Beethoven, would let her use his fur to pull herself back up when she fell, because there was no getting her to quit.
Last September, just eighteen months after her husband passed away at ninety, she had a massive heart attack. Nine months later, she died on my birthday, July 4th. It’s pretty empty in the old farm kitchen now. There is nobody to tell me how to grow cannas or cook ham or stuff zucchini. I miss her more than she could ever know.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
More tales from the key drive
Back in 2001 I told you about some types of cows that grace the average dairy farm, from Feed-Flinging Freda to Light Foot Lucy. Recently I realized that there are personality types among calves as well. You might notice this especially when, for one reason or another, (such as the regular stalls being full), there are baby cows tied in all sorts of weird and wonderful places around the barn. A very common and painful calf is the Knee-Buckin’ Biter. These little darlings know darned well that anything human probably has a bucket of milk secreted somewhere upon their person. KBB’s obviously believe that if they grab that human by the side of the leg, dig in their lower front teeth, and punch very, very hard with their flinty little heads, the bucket of milk will instantly be forthcoming. Actually the only thing forthcoming is the howl of pain produced by the poor human when their knee is chopped from under them while several precise curls of flesh are gouged away by chisel-like baby teeth. One of the twins that was born last week is a ferocious Knee-Buckin’ Biter. I have learned to squeeze around her, just out of reach of her eager mouth, but she nailed Ralph good this morning, much to his painful dismay.
Then there is the High-Kickin’ Heeler calf. A calf of this persuasion will stand quite still, calmly munching grain, as you walk by. Molasses wouldn’t melt in her mouth. Then just as you get almost past, but still nicely in reach, she will thrust both hind feet skyward, as if performing the Highland fling before an audience of thousands. Hoofs will flash past your head making you flinch in terror and manure will splatter all over you. And that’s if she misses. If she connects, well, all I can say is ouch.
More of a nuisance than a danger is the Rope-Chewing Chaser. These calves can’t seem to get enough fiber in their diet, no matter how much forage they eat. If they are tied properly with collars and chains they cause few problems, but woe betide the farmer who ties one up with some handy dandy bailing twine. Sweet little calfie-poo will gaze introspectively ceiling ward without a care in the world, all the while contemplatively chewing and eating the rope that ties her up, the one that holds her water bucket, and any loose twine she finds lying around too. Besides being the one that is running gleefully up and down the aisle every time you come to the barn, she is also the one who has all kinds of tummy problems caused by eating string.
There is a whole subset of calves that become apparent when someone begins training for the show season. First is the Thick-Headed Thrower calf. These little fools don’t seem to realize that the most pampered and beloved calves in the world grow up in a show string. As soon as a calf of this type has a halter placed on her noggin (which is apparently empty) and is asked to come along quietly, she revolts ala Gandhi.
She rolls her eyes, tosses her head, throws herself up side down (preferably in the gutter) and lies there as if taken suddenly dead. No amount of pulling or cajoling will induce her to stand up until she is positive that she has won the battle. Calves of this sort miss all the fun of going to the fair and being patted, puffed and coddled all together.
People-Pinching-Punchers are an alternative form of show calf. They are all too happy to move, but are lacking in both braking mechanism and spatial judgment. A PPP calf will squash you flat against a wall in the blink of an eye. She will also gladly drag you to the wash rack at a canter without regard to obstacles, such as people, baby strollers, Hereford bulls the size of semis, or mounds of hay bales belonging to someone else. PPP’s will clear lawn chairs and leap tall buildings at a single bound. Nobody likes them; everybody has them.
Then there are the Toe-Tapping-Topplers. These little sweethearts neither play dead nor run over your prone body (after they render it that way). Instead a TTT bides her time, strolling elegantly around the show ring, head held high and proud, looking like the star of the show that she knows she is. Then, just when the judge, (and all the spectators), are looking right at her (and you, of course), she steps firmly on your foot anchoring you solidly in place. She then nudges you firmly with her shoulder, dumping you neatly into the shavings in the ring. (At least you hope it is only shavings.) Every one laughs and you look monumentally silly. Your foot hurts like heck too.
The garden pond is beginning to shape up a little
Naturally, not unlike the Plain Old Polly milk cow, who does her job day in and day out without theatrics or fanfare, there is the Lovely-Little-Lady calf. LLL’s don’t kick, bite, or run rampant through the barn raising Cain. These ordinary critters stay where they are put, eat cow feed instead of body parts, and treat people with respect and affection. We have one of those right now; a KPat daughter named Frieland KPat Evidence. (We call her Evie). One of Becky’s babies, she stands tied on the corner of a busy walkway, right next to the curb where we like to sit while we wait for the last few cows to finish milking. We avoid tying calves there when we can, as they turn into KBB’S or HKH’s very quickly and make everybody miserable when they sit there resting their tired feet. However, Evie just eats, moves her fanny out of your way when you walk by, and lays her head in any convenient lap (if ear scratches are offered by the lap’s owner). Needless to say I wouldn’t mind having a dozen Evies. However, like all barns, ours is full of all the other kinds.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Tales from the key drive
Here is yet another Farm Side from 2001. Seems I have to spend the milk check this morning. And Alan did get to read Last of the Breed in study hall after I had a long, intense (very intense) visit with his well-meaning, but very young teacher.
Monday, May 19, 2008
A guest
Which have been so very late in showing up this spring. I have had the feeder out and been changing the food in it for over a month to no avail. I notice that the neighbors have theirs out too. Then yesterday, as we all sat in our Sunday chairs, a little female came to the big window and hovered in front of it as if to announce, "We're here!!" (I honestly believe that the hummers know who fills the feeders.)
She was gone in a flash, buzzing off to the front porch feeder. Then when I looked out through the porch doors this little guy was sleeping there on a flowerpot handle on the porch about three feet from the living room door. I think the hummingbirds may have had a rough migration or the cold and rain is giving them a tough time. Anyhow my photographic efforts made him buzz off to the mountain ash tree where they usually hang out (sorry about that).
However, this morning at just before sun up I looked out and there he was again, same flower pot, same pose. Poor guy looked about half frozen.
What an honor to have a hummingbird share our shelter. If I thought he would come inside I would prop the doors open. However, this time I won't disturb him, but rather let him sit there until the sun warms him...if it warms up enough today to do so.
***Sorry about the blurry shots, taken through both storm and regular door.